1. I found out that I, a 27-year-old, have a cataract in my left eye (and no, I don’t need surgery yet…or glasses).

  2. I am getting really into coconut water lately.

  3. I spent nearly a week in Miami with some of my best friends.

  4. We saw an OnlyFans model shooting boob-bouncing-in-bikini videos at my friend’s building’s pool.

  5. The second-to-last day in Miami, my boss got laid off.

  6. The day after, my brother got laid off.

  7. When I got back to New York, the remaining friends in Miami saw the OnlyFans model filming more explicit videos from her unit across the courtyard.

  8. I got my hair cut and got blonde again.

  9. I kept spending money on interborough Uber rides.

  10. I have a lot of work to do!

I feel like I get a newsletter writing slump like this once or twice a year, but this is the first one that isn’t from a lack of motivation or not wanting to write. Sorry again to delay my correspondence. Do you miss me? I was going to send you a bunch of Tweets to tide you over, but the best ones I bookmarked have been deleted. The one that’s resonating with me lately: a lot of people wanting to channel Carolyn Bessette Kennedy end up giving Elizabeth Holmes, and that’s ok! Talk soon.

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