A quick invitation: Are you a New York gentrifier looking for ways to give back to the communities you’ve harmed solely by living there? If so, I maybe found something to do with your time. While scrolling Reddit, I found an Instagram account called @pickuppigeons that picks up trash around the city. Tomorrow at 8 p.m., they’re cleaning along a path in Greenpoint. It will be my first time, and you should join me!

I returned from Puerto Rico on Wednesday, and although I’m happy to be back in the city, I continue dreaming of the sunlight and silliness that befell me. I can also say I have converted from someone who spends their overseas travel in Europe to someone who hopes to keep spending their money in other parts of the world. Yay, openness!

The next morning, I realized soon into my work day that I needed an iced coffee. I live in a coffee Mecca with people from all over the world embarking on a hajj to try some of the best drinks in the Northeast. Did I choose a beverage from any of these revered establishments? Of course not! I made my journey to the Dunkin Donuts/Popeyes at the corner of Knickerbocker and Flushing and got my usual autumnal order: a medium Nutty Pumpkin iced coffee.

I sucked and slurped that queen until she was empty. I was energized and excited, experiencing some of the most bliss one can find in the mundane. I am powered by the same wiry weirdness Dunks has fueled me with since my New England years as a hopeful student and hopeless adult. Dunkin Donuts is the true New England coffee shop despite the plethora of other lil’ spots I’ve enjoyed over those years. A Dunks craving feels different than one for a true, high-quality coffee, just as I crave Dominos separately from ordering a classic New York slice.

I FaceTimed my mom during my Dunks sesh, and she sneered with disgust at my sad drink. I defended myself by elaborating on the silent joy one experiences while consuming their favorite capitalist trash after a vacation filled with local haunts. Winning a debate with my mom usually is not hard, and she described the euphoria Starbucks provides her. The comfort of the dark wood decor, the familiar taste…no one is safe from the glee. She talked about how two cop dudes were in front of her in line and ogling at the reusable cups, touching the spongy tops that no demographic can resist commenting on. She finished her anecdote with Ah, the places that matter to us! and I immediately realized I had my newsletter title. I’m only talking about restaurants in this entry, but maybe I’ll make a The places that matter to us pt. 2 if I feel so inclined to talk about Trader Joe’s, Target, or (the real ones know) Borders.

I will always defend chain restaurant eaters. The exception is if you only eat at chains but have other delicious options in your area, then I feel sorry for you. Don’t get me wrong — trying new restaurants and bars is one of my favorite hobbies. Eating is one of the best gifts we have. To afford and enjoy deliciousness is a privilege. I believe people should enjoy what they eat. My goal is to be happy with every meal. Even in healthier times, I never tread the route of flavorless chicken and pukelike juices.

If your Chipotle burrito bowl is your silent reward for a great day at work or just being alive another day, you should revel in it. Chains are the same everywhere, and there is comfort in knowing your Five Guys burger will slap the same way across the country as it does back home. Even better: trying regional chains in a new part of the country for you. You haven’t lived if you haven’t devoured hush puppies from Cook Out. Trying American chains in other countries is a special experiment: is McDonald’s back home better, worse, or the same than across the pond? I found American McDonald’s better, but I want to try it in an Asian country.

Criticisms for chain restaurants are extremely fair. They represent the worst of capitalism — unhealthy, corporate, and devoid of originality. I agree with all of these criticisms, but I cannot help but feel bad if you ignore the rolls at Texas Roadhouse. I have always identified more with my local identities than my national one, thinking of myself as a resident of my city before an ambassador of America. However, chain restaurants are a huge part of our national identity. They represent our instant-gratification culture, need for cheap alternatives in an expensive country, and countrywide trends of obesity or poor diet-related illnesses. Chains are especially American, and whether it’s something to be proud or embarrassed of, it’s who we are.

Obviously, chains replacing space for local businesses and drive-thrus strengthening our isolating car culture are travesties. To ignore local options completely in favor of something you can get the next neighborhood over is not what a good community member does. However, I am almost always in favor of indulgence. We are lucky to live in a land with a plethora of options, and if you somehow find enjoyment in the  Chick-fil-A drive-thru line that’s eternal no matter which branch you’re at, you should do what makes you happy. So many people cannot afford or live close to yummy, healthy local eateries. To give them flack is, dare I say, classist; however, I will always make fun of people who unequivocally refuse chain food. My reasoning is simple: how can you not enjoy a little fry? Even further: how can you not enjoy a little fry that you’ve enjoyed your whole life?

Meera and I were on a long, late drive back to San Juan from a day of beaching. We spent our week savoring Puerto Rico’s cultural delicacies. Our preference for local cuisine could not defeat the road trip urge to eat fast food. Surprisingly, Puerto Rico’s most prolific fast food chain — from my vantage point — is Church’s Texas Chicken. Meera and I had never been before. We stopped to share a chicken and app combo, and it was the perfect prescription for a night drive. We ate a side dish I did not see on the main online menu: corn nuggets. We transcended while popping the fried shells with sweet corn inside.

There were plenty of spiritual food moments during this trip, and I was slightly surprised that Church’s provided one of them. But I cannot escape the chains that anchor me. And maybe it’s Stockholm Syndrome, but I do not want to. Eating is too fun to hate on something cheugy but fun to chew on.

10. Domino’s Pizza: Like I said earlier, a Domino’s craving is separate from a real pizza craving. This has gotten me through late nights and lunch leftovers since freshman year of college when BU let us spend dining points on Domino’s. The slices are not too big, the crust is perfectly garlicky, and I love adding a parmesan-related bread slide or the cinnamon twists with frosting that looks like…you know.

9. Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers: Another collegiate nostalgia classic. I love Cane’s so much that I once got it and it made me sick enough to throw up… I ordered it again just a few days later. The hilariously named three-finger combo also hosts crinkly fries, swoon-worthy Texas toast, and Cane’s sauce, which would be my favorite sauce if #2 didn’t have a better one. Cane’s just arrived to New York City and is set to claim Pittsburgh and Manchester, NH soon enough. Do not underestimate the sweeping tide of the fried. For my podcast-lovers, listen to this fascinating interview with its founder, a true entrepreneur.

8. Nando’s: I had previously heard of Nando’s as a One Direction “fan” in middle school, and I finally got the hype when I studied in London. Nando’s is a sit-down spot with an assortment of sauces (Peri-Peri? More like veri-veri YUMMY!), chicken-related entrees, and sides. I have not yet tried the U.S. Nando’s in D.C. and Chicago, but I hope to return to my study abroad love.

7. Sheetz: I wouldn’t be a Pittsburgher if I didn’t include my hometown gas station chain that is better than Wawa. Road trips in the middle of Pennsylvania and angsty nights in the middle of high school would not be complete without gas station favorites and made-to-order meals. If the Sheetz walls could talk, they’d have a lot of good gossip and truck noises.

6. Wingstop: No eating experience is more primal than chicken wings on the couch in front of the TV. Sauces everywhere, faces messier than a five-year-old with an ice cream cone…wings are a reminder to embrace the mess that life has to offer. Meera and I cracked the code in New Hampshire, and we order a combo that includes 30 wings (3 flavors, one for me, one for her, one combo), fries, three sauces, and veggies. Usually, this allows for next-day leftovers.

5. The Cheesecake Factory: Just because it’s one of the finest dining establishments in The World does not mean it wouldn’t count for this list. Suburban girlhood is marked by Cheesecake Factory trips with friends, wearing a Met Gala outfit of a weird dress and Uggs. A vast menu with chaotic architecture creates an unsettlingly fun time, rendering even the most decisive people useless. For a chain to be a special occasion place is rare, but the Cheesecake Factory takes the cake.

4. McDonald’s: This is more American than a bald eagle and a baseball. McDonald’s receives justified criticism for representing some of the worst systems in our country. This is not enough for me to stop enjoying a chicken nugget in any town I want. Anyone remember those cinnamon melt things when we were younger?

3. Chipotle: A chain that’s almost healthy! I ate at one of Pittsburgh’s first Chipotle’s in late elementary school after Wednesdays of going to Hebrew school and playing Pokemon cards at a Squirrel Hill toy store. When Chipotle arrived in my suburb years a few years later, I was elated. My triple taco order has barely changed because I am a 24-year-old baby. The strange music and metal walls contain multitudes…of extra guac.

2. Chick-fil-A: This is a controversial choice! My mom instituted a Chick-fil-A boycott in my family once the homophobia came to light, but I started going with my gay and/or theater friends in high school. No ethical consumption under capitalism blah blah blah all corporations are inherently bad and probably anything-phobic blah blah blah you can DM me if you want to try to sway me otherwise. I currently buy Chick-fil-A sauce from the supermarket and put it on almost anything because it is the best sauce on the planet. The patties can be a bit small, but Chick-fil-A does have my favorite fast food chicken sandwich (Popeye’s second, KFC third). I never said I had good taste!

1. Five Guys Burgers and Fries: Five Guys is what fast food should be. Simple, greasy, and nauseating a few hours later. If my bag isn’t greased up with a barrage of fries, I don’t want it. The burgers can be whatever you want them to be, but still feel like they have no frills. Five Guys miiiight have my favorite fast food milkshake, as well, and I swear by Oreo x peanut butter. Five Guys satisfies deep, deep personal cravings so strong that it is my favorite chain restaurant.  

Dear Sydney,

I’ll cut to the chase - I’m a sleepy gal. I recently discovered that when I get my neurologist recommended 8-9 hours of sleep, I’m more energized, more productive, and most importantly, WAY HAPPIER all around.The problem is in NYC, it feels like everyone is convinced the only way to have fun is staying out all night dancing at clubs. The pre-game starts at 9 pm, we get the the first location at 10:30 pm, new locations + pricey drinks + more dancing, and boom! I’m home at 4 am (only having had a medium fun night because I started getting tired). And on weekends, sleeping until noon isn’t always an option with chores, errands, and groceries. Plus, I’m sure others can identify that when you sleep until or past noon, you often feel groggy and a little sh*tty about your lack of productivity.

So, sweet and smart Sydney, how do I convince my friends that bottomless brunch is as fun as bottomless techno? That the bar at happy hour is as worthy as at half-past 10? I’m happy to close down the bar every so often, but NYC has so many great activities that can occur at any time of day — and I’d love to try some of them.

— A Super Fun but Super Sleepy Gal in Manhattan

I enjoyed reading this elaborate q! I, too, struggle with getting enough sleep. I’ll include concepts for all with some NYC-specific examples.

Want advice from someone as unqualified but possibly more confident than you? Send in a question for Olympic Coaching.