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Table of Contents

Hi friends!

I spent half of my week holed up in my house and the other half so beyond outside. I saw one of my favorite artists for the third time (from seeing Kali Uchis at House of Blues in Boston to Madison Square Garden…what an evolution!), met a mom at a block party that gave me a new ideal life to work towards (hot, cool, everything), and went to Central Park for the first time since March (what a waste to wait so long).

I got to see a clear video of Charlie Kirk getting shot, which I’d say is one of the most graphic videos I’ve ever seen if I didn’t get endless footage of people dying in Gaza. What a weird, wild week to be on the internet. People I haven’t seen post about politics before — or who barely post at all — coming out of the woodwork to pay their respects.

I thought about writing about Utah this week and how it is a conservative cultural hotbed in our country. Our fascination with Mormonism (I am so excited for the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City to return tomorrow) has catapulted The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives women to network TV with Taylor Frankie Paul as The Bachelorette’s first celebrity, non-Bach alumna lead and not one but two castmates joining this season of Dancing with the Stars. The first time I really thought of Utah was watching my first-ever favorite musical: Book of Mormon. Is that show still funny today?

Contending with these different political and cultural moments of conservatism and whiteness in Utah brought me back to one universal truth.

Everyone wants to be a minority

It’s probably more accurate to say that everyone in power wants to relinquish some of it. When you can have it all, you don’t have anything. It’s lonely at the top.

Class

Minority is definitely the wrong word to use to explain how so many of the 1% fetishize experiences of the other 99. I know that there are lorazepam ladies that aren’t meant to live in uncomfortable life, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t have daughters that think they want to ditch society to train with a Thai monk.

Part of our national identity is the idea of hard work paying off no matter who you are or where you’re from, which we know isn’t always the case. Although many nepos are comfortable being socialites and mooching off their family success, many others aspire to feel like their lives are not fully spent in vain. Some of them pick something they can work hard at and/or live in what they think is squalor and/or reject all preppiness. Again, I live in Bushwick and see this working class cosplay every day.

Mo’ money, mo’ problems. Does Palm Beach look particularly fun when it’s a bunch of old people sitting in expensive houses and doing nothing? Is a Hamptons trip worth it just to spend a fortune on mediocre Surf Lodge chicken fingers? They are bored. I often think of this quote from New York Magazine’s profile on NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch (yep, Tisch!):

At her wedding to hedge-funder Daniel Levine, she had one request: a Carvel ice-cream cake, just like every middle-class New Yorker had for a fifth-grade birthday. Her mom ordered 500 custom-made individual Fudgie the Whales, one for every guest.

Noah Schachtman, NY Mag

Political affiliation

It doesn’t matter if Republicans have been using phrases like the silent majority since the Nixon era — conservatives, in their name, at least, want to conserve what the founding of this country was all about instead of letting other groups take over from their power. Nevertheless, they love using revolutionary imagery and wordplay to describe some sort of takeover against global elites above them (Jews?).

Nothing is more anti-minority than sticking to the status quo, but they use culture wars to act as if the American nuclear family is in trouble because of liberals and their ilk. They lose brain cells watching people scream on Fox News. What confuses me is how conservatives are constantly on the offensive even when their party has full control of the government. Y’all won — why are you still miserable? Anyway, they still want to live in blue cities like New York because they are more fun.

Religion

More than half of our country is Christian, and it’s unfortunate when many of them prove the phrase There’s no hate like Christian love right. They’ll have you think there is an actual war on Christmas! Also, so much islamophobia from all corners. So Y2K!

Gender

Male loneliness epidemic. Have you ever tried talking and listening to someone?

Also, conservatism is incredible because how is Riley Gaines still a name that appears in headlines?

Sexuality

I don’t need to spend more of my gay newsletter talking basic facts about the struggle of the queer experience, so I’m going to be nitpicky. What I think is interesting is how white queers are clear proof that people love being a minority.

It’s not that queer persecution is some made up thing because it certainly is. It’s just that when certain white, cis, often male gays have the luxury of living in a blue city amongst a bunch of other gay people, they sometimes think that their sexuality gives them enough of a minority card to go in either or both directions: 1. speaking like Black women or 2. being gay republicans. You have the Hannah Montana best of both worlds: the richness of marginalized culture with the safety of whiteness.

At the end, it really just goes back to…

Race

Why did I even write any of these other sections when it’s all really about this? I know that many right-wingers are afraid of whiteness becoming a minority in this country, but they really seem to be relishing in this self-imagined persecution of whiteness. They want their own White History Month when that’s, like, every month.

Even so, whatever racism seeps through every system doesn’t change the fact that so many white people wish they had the culture and swag of other races. Food, music, dance, lingo, familial closeness, ancestral pride…all things white people want and don’t always do that well. White people swarm TikTok comment sections asking for invites to the cookout or the carne asada.

Fashion

This week’s photo is from the first time I’ve ever had makeup on my eyebrows. I went to a reality TV reunion-themed party, and Jackie offered to be my glam squad. It’s the most makeup I’ve had on my face in years, and partygoers were lucky the apartment was so dark because they would have been so jealous if they could see me in full light. Cuter selfies are available for premium subscribers.

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Current fixations I want to mention

Food & Drink

Finally: Caffè Panna. If you are a human with an Instagram that eats sweet things you’ve probably heard of this ice cream shop that constantly bangs out wild limited edition flavors and collabs. I’ve been wanting to go for ages but its just barely been out of the way whenever I’m out and craving a scoop. Meera and I got Taku Sando and realized we could finally find out if Caffè Panna was worth the hype. Indeed, it is! There are two components to what make this place everyone’s favorite ice cream: 1. The flavors 2. the built-in toppings. For flavors, they have a few mainstays and a few rotating specials. Meera got their version of cookies and cream (mainstay, obviously) and I went with Nutter Butter (one of the most underrated sweets). When you order a scoop, you also have to pick a sauce and a topping. These are included in your total, so it’s not like you’re deciding if you want to splurge on something extra; the extra isn’t extra at all. It also comes with panna, which is like if whipped cream was better. Even if somehow your flavor sucked, these toppings prevent you from having a bad time. No matter how sophisticated or underground I might want to be with my favorite foods, I can’t help that Anita Gelato and Caffè Panna have the best ice cream in the city.

Music

Want to get on the ground-ish floor of a great pop artist? Maybe join me in being able to someday say you’ve been listening to Jae Stephens since SELLOUT II. This EP has confident, sexy girl bangers that have joined my rotation and keep cycling through. My favorite songs are “SMH” (as in So Many Hoes) and “Afterbody” (the pounding chorus is built for your earbuds during a romp around town).

Internet & Pop Culture

Cardi B promoting her upcoming album all over New York, from the train to the streets.

Television & Maybe Movies

Let’s get back to when misogyny was more fun. I started watching Entourage this week as a new lunch break show and am addicted. It’s Sex and the City for boys! For my fellow child readers, Entourage is about a group of four friends that grew up together in Queens living in LA together after one of them got their big acting break. I started watching the show because I thought lead Adrien Grenier was hot as Vinnie (probably the same rationale for a lot of girls when the show came out) but stay for the antics of lovable idiots Johnny Drama, Turtle, and E. The other major character, Ari Gold, is Vinnie’s unlikeable-yet-likable agent, who makes this sometimes feel like a show that’s all about calling people on the phone. If this show came out today, I would hate its outsized sexism, overall douchebaggery, and lack of consequences for invincible dudes. By putting on my 2000s glasses, I love this show and will keep watching as long as it holds my attention (which I doubt it can for all 8 seasons). I am already in the middle of season 2 because the episodes are 30 minutes. Two other things I love: 1. Every interaction with every retail or service worker is always with a sexy woman whose name the boys already know. There are details shared in these interactions that infer how the boys have preexisting rapports with these girls. Wouldn’t it be nice to go to all the same stores often enough to have relationships with whoever is working there? 2. Tons of celebrities are on this show playing themselves. How much are they acting? Some of them even hook up with Vinnie. Also, some famous people play characters. I feel like Debi Mazar is too famous to be playing Vinnie’s publicist. Anyway, I just read this post on why Adrien Grenier disappeared from pop culture, and I learned that many of these dudes are just as sex pest-y IRL as they are on the show.

Journalism & Literature

It took a short mention in New York Magazine to pique my interest in A New New Me by Helen Oyeyemi. The somewhat mystical book follows a woman named Kinga whose self has fragemented into seven versions (Kinga A–G), each of whom take control for one specific day per week. They communicate through journal entries that the others read as they have their control days, and the book is a week in Kinga’s life that starts with finding a man seemingly held hostage in her house, which makes this book sound more like a scary mystery than it is. Each Kinga has a different vibe. Some work, some don’t. They don’t all get along with each other. I thought the premise was interesting, and Oyeyemi is a critically acclaimed writer. Although I did enjoy the book and its premise, I was confused for the majority of it. I wasn’t sure if it bit off more than it could chew or if I am more illiterate than I thought. There were multiple passages I had to reread thinking I missed something but couldn’t figure out what it was. Maybe part of the confusion is because the book takes place in Czechia, and I don’t really know any Czech references? It was sometimes hard for me to keep track of which Kinga was which and why they would or wouldn’t get along with other Kinga iterations. Plus, all seven of them are unreliable narrators and interpret events differently. I exhaled when I read Goodreads reviews and saw that the majority of mortals had the same qualms I did. Nevertheless, I’m happy I read it and think it could have worked better if we maybe had two weeks with Kinga, each of her entries being half as long.

Something I Saw in the Wild

I was walking home from the gym and saw Zack Cherry a.k.a. Dylan from Severance walking around Bushwick.

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