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I spent half of my week holed up in my house and the other half so beyond outside. I saw one of my favorite artists for the third time (from seeing Kali Uchis at House of Blues in Boston to Madison Square Garden…what an evolution!), met a mom at a block party that gave me a new ideal life to work towards (hot, cool, everything), and went to Central Park for the first time since March (what a waste to wait so long).

I got to see a clear video of Charlie Kirk getting shot, which I’d say is one of the most graphic videos I’ve ever seen if I didn’t get endless footage of people dying in Gaza. What a weird, wild week to be on the internet. People I haven’t seen post about politics before — or who barely post at all — coming out of the woodwork to pay their respects.

I thought about writing about Utah this week and how it is a conservative cultural hotbed in our country. Our fascination with Mormonism (I am so excited for the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City to return tomorrow) has catapulted The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives women to network TV with Taylor Frankie Paul as The Bachelorette’s first celebrity, non-Bach alumna lead and not one but two castmates joining this season of Dancing with the Stars. The first time I really thought of Utah was watching my first-ever favorite musical: Book of Mormon. Is that show still funny today?

Contending with these different political and cultural moments of conservatism and whiteness in Utah brought me back to one universal truth.

It’s probably more accurate to say that everyone in power wants to relinquish some of it. When you can have it all, you don’t have anything. It’s lonely at the top.

Minority is definitely the wrong word to use to explain how so many of the 1% fetishize experiences of the other 99. I know that there are lorazepam ladies that aren’t meant to live in uncomfortable life, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t have daughters that think they want to ditch society to train with a Thai monk.

Part of our national identity is the idea of hard work paying off no matter who you are or where you’re from, which we know isn’t always the case. Although many nepos are comfortable being socialites and mooching off their family success, many others aspire to feel like their lives are not fully spent in vain. Some of them pick something they can work hard at and/or live in what they think is squalor and/or reject all preppiness. Again, I live in Bushwick and see this working class cosplay every day.

Mo’ money, mo’ problems. Does Palm Beach look particularly fun when it’s a bunch of old people sitting in expensive houses and doing nothing? Is a Hamptons trip worth it just to spend a fortune on mediocre Surf Lodge chicken fingers? They are bored. I often think of this quote from New York Magazine’s profile on NYPD Commissioner Jessica Tisch (yep, Tisch!):

It doesn’t matter if Republicans have been using phrases like the silent majority since the Nixon era — conservatives, in their name, at least, want to conserve what the founding of this country was all about instead of letting other groups take over from their power. Nevertheless, they love using revolutionary imagery and wordplay to describe some sort of takeover against global elites above them (Jews?).

Nothing is more anti-minority than sticking to the status quo, but they use culture wars to act as if the American nuclear family is in trouble because of liberals and their ilk. They lose brain cells watching people scream on Fox News. What confuses me is how conservatives are constantly on the offensive even when their party has full control of the government. Y’all won — why are you still miserable? Anyway, they still want to live in blue cities like New York because they are more fun.

More than half of our country is Christian, and it’s unfortunate when many of them prove the phrase There’s no hate like Christian love right. They’ll have you think there is an actual war on Christmas! Also, so much islamophobia from all corners. So Y2K!

Male loneliness epidemic. Have you ever tried talking and listening to someone?

Also, conservatism is incredible because how is Riley Gaines still a name that appears in headlines?

I don’t need to spend more of my gay newsletter talking basic facts about the struggle of the queer experience, so I’m going to be nitpicky. What I think is interesting is how white queers are clear proof that people love being a minority.

It’s not that queer persecution is some made up thing because it certainly is. It’s just that when certain white, cis, often male gays have the luxury of living in a blue city amongst a bunch of other gay people, they sometimes think that their sexuality gives them enough of a minority card to go in either or both directions: 1. speaking like Black women or 2. being gay republicans. You have the Hannah Montana best of both worlds: the richness of marginalized culture with the safety of whiteness.

At the end, it really just goes back to…

Why did I even write any of these other sections when it’s all really about this? I know that many right-wingers are afraid of whiteness becoming a minority in this country, but they really seem to be relishing in this self-imagined persecution of whiteness. They want their own White History Month when that’s, like, every month.

Even so, whatever racism seeps through every system doesn’t change the fact that so many white people wish they had the culture and swag of other races. Food, music, dance, lingo, familial closeness, ancestral pride…all things white people want and don’t always do that well. White people swarm TikTok comment sections asking for invites to the cookout or the carne asada.

See Bushwick

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