Happy Birthday, Gentrifier Olympics!

I’m still having a birthday party for this newsletter-versary. Come!

Hi friends! This is a victory lap of an entry because I sent out my first issue of Gentrifier Olympics a year ago this week! AHHH!

I have picked up and quit countless creative endeavors, so I am so impressed to have made it through a year. This is a total gloat of an issue that you’ll have to get through, but I don’t think it will be too long.  

A year ago at this time, I wasn’t even a full season in my Bushwick apartment with Meera, which we moved into after doing a few months of long distance and I lived with friends on the UES. Looking back on my photos from this time, I was building furniture, getting blonder, hosting a housewarming party, and cranking out PowerPoints for work. Funnily enough, my nails were almost the exact same shade of hot pink they are right now.

The Bushwick insecurity was starting to set in, the double-takes you do in a neighborhood of beautiful youths you probably have two Instagram mutuals with while figuring out what they’ve sacrificed to look good in their outfits. I was surrounded by a ton of people similar enough to me and doing things I perceived as much more interesting even though I thought they were annoying. No longer letting myself be defined by my career, the New York fantasy was starting to fade and I needed to have real things define me that don’t include hanging out with friends and eating at restaurants.

I was just starting to wade into this weird zone of being jealous of my peers but also hating them massively, rolling my eyes at their party name drops in apartments above Mexican and Honduran businesses none of us had probably ever been to. It was just such a stupid social game to enter but one I still identified with and loved enough to stay in. That self-loathing and curiosity led me to the rants that would become Gentrifier Olympics issues.

Let’s look at my first issue, which I sent on August 14, 2023. I remember reading and editing it over multiple times before sending it out, which I don’t even do anymore for most of my entries. I really tried to be approachable and honest, as evidence through the second line: I’m no Hemingway, but I’ll be as Ernest as possible (which I still think is awesome). I try to make it entertaining and informative for New Yorkers and non-New Yorkers alike, just trying to give people a window into my world — while being aware that the view isn’t all that unique.

I liked this issue and still do. I got a lot of compliments, and the feedback I get really sustains this whole project. I wanted to do this as a commitment to myself, which I have…but having others keeps me accountable. I’ve towed the line between writing for others vs. writing for myself and am still not sure where I land. I don’t want to make a bad product, but I learned that my priority is producing a consistent product over making it actually good. I’ve sent out one issue every week since its inception (except Christmas — very Christian of me!).

I’m not sure if doing this has made my life better or worse, but I like to think better. My cons: this takes the majority of a day to make (issues slowly started getting longer) and I am a huge procrastinator. I sometimes have to pick between sending something out a day late or sending it on time but it’s crappier. I usually opt for sending something later but the quality is lower. Whatever. I also think this has made me a much more cynical person, which I think makes me sadder. Although I tend to choose knowledge over ignorance, scrutinizing my every move is something that goes beyond what I write here and creeps into most aspects of my life. I think I’ve gotten more insecure this year and was depressed for the majority of 2024, which I chronicled here, as well. I’m not sure if having a place to write that out was a healthy way to cope or a vehicle to worsen my feelings. I think about myself too much!

Not sure if this is a pro or a con, but writing this became more of an exercise and a ritual than some grand creative expression. Few individual issues feel special or give me immense pride. I feel like I’ve lately been saying the same stuff over and over or something that’s not particularly groundbreaking. I never know whether to treat this format as a way to write an opinion piece or a diary, but that can be a pro, too. Having this as a ritual gives me routine, something I crave and am bad at giving myself. To do something and not quit is an accomplishment in itself.

Having this routine has led me into more healthy routines, though, which is quite the pro. I think having the Current Fixations sections encouraged me to consume media more thoughtfully and really make an effort to inform myself. I think I sort of forgot how to do that after no longer being a student or a journalist. I got too lazy! Now, I actually listen to podcasts and read books and magazines regularly instead of just one-off articles. I have sources I consume in short bursts on regular schedules and other longform media I dive into when I finish my short-term stuff. I feel like I’ve finally learned how to give myself time to…learn.

I do think the newsletter quality has decreased over time, but this is what happens when I’m prioritizing completion over engagement…but I still want engagement and also care about it more than I did initially. I used to write much more intentionally and cared more about correctness and powerful language, but now I write more like how I talk. Whatever. I also thought I would do more real research or write things more rooted in journalistic standards, but I just got lazy and wanted to talk about myself.

I’ve received some really lovely feedback and have inspired multiple friends to make their own newsletters (some that still exist, some that lay dormant) or pursue creative endeavors, and that makes me happy. It’s also been an interesting way for my long-distance friends to keep in touch with me (albeit one-sided) and feel close to me, which is also great. It’s also been interesting for newer friends I make or acquaintances who end up learning a lot about my life when I don’t really know much about theirs, creating a parasocial relationship. I’m such a celeb!

Have I learned anything from this? Maybe, but it’s made me tired enough not to care as much anymore. I know that I’m gonna keep doing this, and it will hopefully last into next year, too. I feel like the biggest obstacle would be if I moved to a less interesting city than New York and became the homebody of my nightmares. Reading into my other issues, it doesn’t really seem like I’ve changed that much, which makes sense for it only being a year. I did pick a great time to do this, though, because it started with the high of feeling so sure of myself only 6 months into living in the city and through the valleys of insecurity I rolled down as reality started setting in.

I do recommend doing something like this, though. I really try to minimize regret in my life, and having a consistent hobby like this that makes some sort of finished product that some of you read before you fall asleep or while sipping your morning coffee is pretty cool. I’m proud that this is something I do, and I think it’s made me feel more aware of whatever’s going on in this city.

My list for the end of my narrative is going to be a trip down memory lane, so I briefly looked at each issue I wrote to pick my top 10 favorites. Here’s some things I noticed: 1. My format has barely changed, but I’ve gotten lazy on keeping it clean. 2. I can literally watch myself get slightly sad after Thanksgiving then sink into depression at the start of February…and get out of it when summer arrived. Wow! 3. My first few months probably had my favorite issues because my excitement to write them can easily be detected. 4. I have a teeny handful of issues I am super proud of but plenty that I am satisfied with. I don’t love very many of the ones I wrote while depressed (February – May). 5. I usually sound better when I try not to be an expert on something. But every now and then…wow, I sound like such an awesome expert!

I wrote this on Sunday and scheduled it out for a Monday send, something I can now do as of this month since I now pay for Mailchimp (too many subscribers to send to…yeah!). By the time you’re reading this, I’m probably working from Pittsburgh where I’m spending the majority of this week. I’ll have spent the rest of the day in a friend's car on our way home from New York. I spent most of my week indoors since Meera tested positive for COVID. It’s nice to have time to write calmly, something I’m still terrible at giving myself. Anyway, I’m sitting here with my negative COVID test writing on the same couch I wrote my first issue on after recently building it. Time flies when you’re having fun!

Above all, thank you so much for being along for this ride, many of you since the first month! To my friends, family, acquaintances, random followers, people I haven’t talked to in a while, and lurkers…I love all of you and am so appreciative of the time you have given me. I hope to keep you around. As always, I want feedback. I loved doing the Olympic Coaching segment but eventually stopped getting submissions. Let me know if there’s another crowd-generated segment I can make. Love you!